Time Travel … A Waste of Time

I admit it.  I’m tired of time travel.  It was fun at first, but the novelty wore off.  Big deal.  I’ve seen the Old West.  It’s dirty and hot.  I’ve seen the pyramids being constructed. They really needed OSHA.  I’ve seen great battles.  Gettysburg was the first real test of modern weapons.  Artillery and machine guns worked really well and killed far faster than swords.  I’ve travelled with Neil to the moon.  My God, what a wasteland.  Not one McDonalds in the whole place.  I’ve seen the castles and knights.  The Feudal system was all work and no play.  There was no retirement plan because you died by 40 with no sick days or vacations.

 

I even travelled back to meet the first human, Lucy.  I tried to offer her a granola bar but she threw a rock at my head, just missing me.  That woman had a nasry disposition.  I didn’t try the dinosaurs.  That’s way too risky.  I’ve seen how that turns out.  I tried going forward in time too.  Strange plastic like plants.  Humans with little wheels and tiny jet packs to lift them off to anywhere.  No need for talk, it’s all telepathic.  No need for food, just stick your head into a nurishment box for 30 seconds.  What about a Happy Meal with extra fries?

 

No, I’m done with time machines.  Unless I could go back just five minutes or forward five minutes.  Then I would be able to correct my mistakes and be ready for anything. Hmmm.  I’m bored already.  I think I’ll put my time machine in the basement with my gym equipment.  “Now” is the best time.

 

Lee