Buy Now!

“Yes, it’s hard to believe but Galactica is on sale for a limited time only.  You too can experience the benefits of Galactica. You will be transformed from your stress-filled world to a place of tranquillity.  Escape the tortured present now and leap into a future of contentment” said the voice warmly.  It was the voice of a familiar friend.

 

“Simply pick up your phone and call 911.  Operators are standing by.  Yes, I’m Burt Reynolds and I know you think Galactica is too good to be true, but I’ve looked into it and I believe in Galactica, and so.will you”.  As Burt wanders over to his recliner he looks me in the eyes and appears to offer a drink.  Ice clinks softly as he seats himself.  He smiles as he sips his drink.  I am a bit concerned about his drinking at all hours of the day, but he does seem to handle it well. Never mind, back to Galactica.

 

“Don’t delay”, he implores.  “You owe it to yourself.  After all, it’s only five easy payments”.  Of course I’ll do it, Burt.

 

Later, relaxing in my recliner, having finished my drink with Burt, I begin to wonder, what exactly did I order?  Was it:

A.  A one year supply of Niagra, with an eight hour erection guarantee?

B. A magic pillow that will gently masage my head and neck and provide me with the best ten hours of sleep I’ve ever had?

C. A set of ping pong paddles that will be the envy of all my neighbors?  That reminds me, I’d better get a table.

D.  An ice cream maker that will turn my grass clippings into a delicious summer treat?

E. New car mats that will clean themselves and play my favorite tunes when I tap them with my feet?

F. A one year membership to the Cheese of the Month club with free delivery each month, personally signed by the producing cow, from a different country each month?

 

Who cares?  What do I know about happiness anyway?  That’s what we pay Burt for.  I turn off the lights.  With a smile on my face, I doze off in my recliner which Burt was kind enough to deliver last week.

 

Lee