Dependence Day

Whereas there has been too much war and destruction in the name of Independence

 

Whereas Independence can lead to many outrageous ideas that can irritate a lot of people

 

Whereas many people prefer the status quo to an uncertain future

 

Whereas Independence is a lot of work and emotional stress as a new path is forged

 

Whereas Independence is an illusion anyway, merely a transfer of authority from Kings and dictators to a corporate oligarchy

 

Therefore let it be known that in the Semi United States of America we will hereby pause one day per year, July 5th, to celebrate Dependence Day.

 

Let it be a day given to extending thanks to Amazon and Wall Mart for their expert guidance in anticipating our true needs

 

Let it be a day to honor Google for their vigilance in monitoring our mental and physical travels anywhere, anytime on this planet

 

Let it be a day to thank the top 1% for caring for our prosperity and future options, sparing us the need for stressful decision making

 

Let it be a day of excessive spending particularly on line, with amazing sales and free delivery

 

This resolution is hereby distributed by way of Twitter (in three installments given its prodigeous length), the only true platform for political discourse, to all citizens of the Semi United States of America for them to delete immediately from their electronic devices in order to attend to the aforementioned sales.

 

Submitted for your enlightenment and possible entertainment by… Lee