The Purse Snatcher

Ma’am Just the facts.

“Well, I was shopping. Dayton’s was having a sale on purses, you know designer ones. All my friends have designer purses. We’re going to dinner as a group, you know. They all have fancy bags and I think don’t I deserve a designer purse? I had this ad. I was rummaging around in my tote bag when….

Please Ma’am. Just the facts.

Okay, then. The salesperson was rather snippy to me. I asked and I was polite, too. Please show me your purses that are on sale.”

In a stiff upper lip, “You mean our handbags?”

“Oh, pardon me. I said in my best high society voice. Did you know one is to say handbag? No, well, then, there I was. I asked to see a red clutch and a blue shoulder bag. The dark blue purse, I mean handbag was so nifty, real classy. The leather was smooth and smelled rich. The guy was reluctant, but he brought out two other handbags for me to think about. Just as I was putting one on my shoulder and holding the small red one, I looked up to see this kid running toward me. He smacked right into me. Stuff was flying everywhere. Then this woman in four-inch heels ran over to us. I was yelling at the creep had knocked me down and he was trying to get away.”

“I work in the jewelry department, and just as I was returning a tray of diamond rings to the display case, I heard the ruckus. Did I see it happen? No, The marble pillar blocked part of my view but the woman was on the floor and the young man was helping her to her feet. What? Yes Sir, I recognized him. His name is Jack or John something. He works in our Deli. He was apologizing to the woman when security came. She was screaming something about her arm and that he pushed her to the floor. He was very upset. Claimed that he didn’t push her.”

Thank you Ma’am, we’ll take it from here.

In a back room, the two sat on straight back chairs while security checked the surveillance cameras, the woman’s large tote and the young man’s backpack.

Mr. Jack Boyd you are free to go.