The Big Day

It’s been a long time coming.  After years of hard work, I’ve finally been recognized.  It was a surprise though.  I assumed the award would go to a more popular party.  Finally they recognized the hard work of those that just plod along behind the scene.

These speeches are dragging on.  Still, I may as well enjoy the ceremony.  The mundane work will soon resume.  My colleagues are here with me, rooting me on.  We have worked well as a team.  I will certainly praise their work.  What?  Already?  Up we all stand.  One smooth working team.  One body, one spirit.  I am speechless, literally, so others will bail me out.

First, I want to thank my parents.  I wouldn’t exist except for their passionate encounter on a long weekend in mid October, 1945.  The war was over and I was part of the celebration.  Even to this day I still enjoy the back seat.  Second, I want to thank my second grade teacher who recognized my need for a bathroom break every morning after math.

Next, I want to thank my host.  I want to thank the entire body whose parts together made all of this possible, from “brain to drain” (pause for laughter).  Finally, I want to thank my doctor who explored my glorious far reaches with precision and courage.  He saved me from the clutches of disease and educated me about the importance of good diet. Oh yes, I have the pictures to commemorate this historic event.

So,  it is with humbleness and sincere thanks that I accept the Nobel Body Parts Award. With the $500,000 prize I intend to forward full color pictures of my polyp to every child in America in order to promote good colon maintenance for future generations.  The public relations campaign will include a selection of juried  poems collected to extol the virtues of the Colon.

As we leave the podium to thunderous applause, I express my thanks in the only manner possible, a gigantic flatulent exclamation!

 

Lee