I Know that you are not Perfect, Master Joe

I Know that you are not Perfect, Master Joe

Fear not my human benefactor and friend, I know that

You are not perfect by any means, but you are all I got!

Remember that we set up this arrangement by fooling with my DNA, not yours

 

Perfect? You screamed at me messing up the toilet paper role!

I was bored and you did not pay enough attention to me.

Who’s fault is that, big guy?

 

You speak in your language and ignore the difference in frequencies.

I do all the work trying to understand what you are saying

Why don’t you try speaking in my language for a change?

 

Why do I have to grovel and beg forgiveness from you?

Why do you think that you are never wrong?

It makes me feel insecure and gives me nightmares.

 

Look, I have my own problems!

And while we are on the subject of insecurity, what happened to my balls?

Isn’t there a dog camp around, where I can talk to the other guys about this?

 

I have to scratch at the door to go out and take a leak

When you are on the telephone, my bladder is busting! Gimme a break!

I have to resort to sign language to get your attention!

 

Let’s be honest! You adopted me and are not my parent.

We have a satisfactory living arrangement although you always get the big bed.

But, I never get to see my friends and have some fun!

 

And the food! Honestly, I can smell the fresh meat that you are eating.

Why do I get pre-digested pellets in a cardboard box and get fed on the floor?

Haven’t you ever heard of Filet Mignon, or even a Big-Mac?

 

What about entertainment? Our house is boring, I want to get out more.

It seems like you have to play, “get the ball” whenever I see you

Can’t you get movies or videos about dog adventures?

 

I like to go out on car rides with open windows more often

I enjoy splashing in the lake with other dogs.

I even enjoy barking at anything, even though you can’t stand the sound!

 

So, please don’t get over self-reflective about your failings

I know your weaknesses and try my best to make up for them. I’m your dog!

I am willing to keep the relationship as it is because I really love you.

 

^© Norman F. Estrin, Ph.D., May 30, 2016, I Know that you are not Perfect, Master Joe